74. The History of Dating: Part I

Source: Belief Net

Digitalisation has changed everything around us. It has proliferated and changed every aspect of our everyday lives, including dating. But did you know that dating as a concept has never been static? It has evolved over a period of time. Let’s see how!

Earlier in the medieval ages, unless you or your parents could handpick the love of your life, you would either have to accept your fate or find different ways to look for someone. One of the ways people found their spouses was through the use of the then limited mass media. With the advent of newspapers, people started posting personal ads, as a last resort for people with no other means of finding someone. The first woman to post a personal ad was Helen Morrison, and it was believed she was mentally unstable for doing so. Yet, dating was considered a felony despite the popularity of these personal ads. A young man and woman meeting in public were, in the eyes of the authorities, believed to be prostitution, and women could be arrested for it. Dating is a relatively new concept! The word was coined in 1896 by George Ade, a columnist for the Chicago Records. In this, a young man complained that his girlfriend was seeing other people, and was thus, “filling all my dates”, as in the dates of her calendar.  

Back then, Dating was a family affair and the term courtship was used to express the goal of marriage. Courtship was a private, unemotional affair. Usually, a woman would meet several men with her parent’s permission, to choose her suitable match that relied on factors such as social and financial status. When women decided on a man she wanted to marry, the couple would announce their relationship status at social gatherings within the household. There was no such thing as ‘going on a date’. 

The first decade in the 20th century was characterized by the figure of the gentleman caller who would follow proper protocols. If a young man was interested in young women, he would come to the family’s home to persuade the elders. However, this system was discouraged. By this time, couples had started going out dates and this brought about a significant shift in the relationship dynamics. It was now a man’s duty to pay for a date, unlike before, when the woman decided the terms of the visit. Dating now had fewer structures, with little protocols. This was the time when relationships became more personal and less family-oriented.